Tuesday, December 21, 2010

T’was the Night Before Finals

T’was the Night Before Finals

By

B.J. Williams

T’was the night before finals, and all through the school,

Students were gaming, because that was the rule.

The grades were all posted on Grade speed with care,

In hopes that exemptions would keep all kids from here.

The students each struggled with an empty head,

While teachers all hoped they’d remember what was said.

When some with a scantron, and I with pen of red,

Had just written keys for bubbles filled with number two led.

When out of the office there rose such a clatter,

I gave up grading to see what was the matter!

To the edge of my room I flew like a flash,

Unlocked the door that’s a security latch,

A student was mooning, bottom as white as the snow,

And gave a retching to all who happened to see the show.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear?

But a smart student who knew how to escape from here!

He coughed and he spewed, for this he knew,

Would help others believe that he had the flu!

Then, more rabid than beagles, my student’s they came,

I greeted them wearily, and mumbled their name,

“Now Justin, now Ali, now Zippy and Bob!

On Trenton, on Kristy, and good old Rob Dawg!

To the front of the class, a seat between all,

Pick up a scantron and take the test for the fall!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

My students were blown away with numbers like pi!

So up to the test they would write what they knew,

Along with a lot that they had guessed on too!

And then in a twinkling, I heard all through the class,

The pencil’s led marking, student’s hoping to pass.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

I noticed a cheater, their review placed neatly on the ground!

They were dressed in defiance, from their head to their foot,

And out of the classroom I gave them my boot!

His bundle of books, he threw on his back,

He looked back at me and said, “You don’t know Jack!”

His eyes – how they twinkled, his smirk no less,

But my smile came knowing he was headed to ISS!

My droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And then I saw the student who really didn’t know!

The stub of his pencil he held firm in his teeth,

And smoke from his ears circled his head like a wreath!

He had a blank face, and a grasp of math as firm as jelly,

He was perspiring too much, which made his odor quite smelly!

In class he was silly, paid less attention than an elf,

And so now I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

A wink of my eye, and a nod of my head,

And the student now knew, his grade was dead!

He spoke not a work, but continued his work,

And wished now in class, he had not been such a jerk!

And laying his pencil beside his test,

He conceded to fail, as he knew not the rest.

He rose from his desk, and in exasperation gave a whistle,

As his grade plummeted, like a tomahawk missile!

But I said to him, as he walked down the hall out of sight,

See you next year! Maybe then you’ll get some right!

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